Hydlide…… How much crack cocaine was being smoked by these game designers? Who looked at the final product and said “We need to release this game”? This game is one of the worst video games in the history of video games. It sucks. It blows. Everyone involved in making this game should be charged with war crimes against humanity.

Where to even begin with this disaster??? Let’s start out with the music. It is some of the most annoying sound effects put on a 5-6 loop. You will have nightmares if you listen to the music for more than two minutes. Then, take a look at the graphics. What are you looking at? It’s like staring at vomit meets “I ate too much Mexican food” dump you took. The game is uglier than Rosie O’Donnell in a thong.

Gameplay? That is an insult to even say this game has gameplay. Attacking an enemy is done by bumping into them and smashing the buttons on the control in hopes of killing the enemy instead of it killing you. Let me repeat this. To attack an enemy, you bump into them. That’s correct, no attack animation like you see in games like Zelda, Contra, Ninja Gaiden or every other game made in the history of gaming. Just run into the enemy and pray for the best.

Enemies? You have some awesome ones, let me tell you. Bees. That is correct. Bees are a common one. A moving bush. A rock. Walking fireballs. Sometimes walking into a dark room will kill you for no reason, as proven by the Angry Video Game Nerd. As I said in my opening paragraph, this game had to be made due to tons of crack smoking.

Yes, I did own this game. My dad’s company closed down and my parents had little money for about a year. This was a birthday gift, as my dad found this game for around $10 at Toy-R-Us. I know my dad tried, but he might as well gave me a bag of broken glass to play with. It probably would have been more fun and I would have cool scares to show off. Instead, I am scared for life having played this abomination.

This game is a 1 out of 10.